Facebook Limmericks

The irony of the following blog entry resides in the circular nature of being a pea-roast of Facebook status updates that will, inevitably due to the way I have the two integrated, be pea-roasted back on to Facebook. The one thing that would make it worse, would be to write the whole entry in verse; I won’t go that way, it’s too early in the day, I need more caffeine in me first. Darn it!

One thing I’ve been doing of late, to try and keep my status updates mildly amusing on Facebook, is to write them in limerick form. Of course, I realise in hind-sight that if I don’t keep some sort of archive of them, they will get lost among the noise. So I’ve gone back over the past few months and saved some of them from the pits of forgotten writings.

03 Oct 
I’m glad that I found Facebook Lite;
It really does save on the bytes;
Keep up conversations;
No more quiz applications;
Friend updates without all the excrement.

08 Oct 
Something quite strange is occurring;
Tumble’s on my lap a-purring;
She’d normally hiss;
And spend the day pissed;
All the catnip and food must be working.

10 Oct 
Facebook is trying so hard;
To sell me another guitar;
They got Gibson right;
I’m not that surprised;
When you look at the arsenal thus far.

10 Oct 
Kassidy has joined the parade;
And now too seeks to try Google Wave;
Signed up on site;
No sign of invite;
Now he wonders how long he need wait.

11 Oct 
Still got a long way to go;
Sawdust is clogging my nose;
About half way done;
This upgrade is fun;
Best get cracking on I suppose.

02 Jan 
So here is the year twenty ten;
It’s time to start over again;
I’ll spend half my time;
Writing two thousand nine;
Then get it right just as it ends.

06 Jan 
Once again we are suffering the snow;
Far too dangerous to drive on the roads;
There’s no bugger in;
Chance of lunch looking thin;
If they’ve nicked my lasagna ape I’ll go.

07 Jan 
Mr Kearey went to Marlow, pavements all covered in ice;
His left foot did slide, ergo fell on his side, “now work for twelve hours, how nice!”

07 Jan 
I can’t seem to get in my head
When it comes down to software for Deb
I’ll spend ages compiling
And installing dev libraries
Only to find it in the repo instead!

09 Jan 
So many projects unfold
There’s barely enough time for them all
But that’s just an excuse
We all know it’s due
To procrastination taking its toll.

22 Jan 
So Ashcroft is at it again
This time with the UN of S
It’s the same dull and bland
Under new stuck-up brand
And, damn it, it’s stuck in my head!

23 Jan 
Playing with virtual machine
This time I’m installing XP
But Windows Updates
If they keep up this rate
Might be finished by 20 18.

14 Feb 
TalkTalk decided to stray
From their contract and hike up the pay
Well they can get lost
‘Cause for the same cost
VirginMedia installed in two days.

25 Mar 
Today all the vocals just fail
More than singing it sounds like a wail
Deferring this one
‘Til my nose ain’t bunged up
And my throat isn’t feeling so frail.

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